


All our friends want us to fall in love

by VerboseWordsmith



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: 520 Day | Edward Elric/Roy Mustang Day, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Failboats In Love, First Dates, M/M, Modern day alchemy, Oblivious Roy Mustang
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-22
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-06-10 02:20:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6934144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VerboseWordsmith/pseuds/VerboseWordsmith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Our Hero, the dashing Colonel Roy Mustang, is completely oblivious to the fact that he's acquired a boyfriend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All our friends want us to fall in love

**Author's Note:**

> Slightly belated 520 Day fic. Originally this was supposed to be a couple hundred words of banter for a friend. Then Roy got his internal monologue on and well, here we are. Title shamelessly stolen from Panic! at the Disco because my ipod is stuck in 2009 and I can't title things to save my life.
> 
> Not beta read, please point out any egregious errors if you spot them.

Roy checked the clock; nearly one. He needed to leave soon if he was going to make his meeting. It'd been a productive morning (he'd perfected his origami dragon, drawn a very impressive portrait of Falman, come up with a wonderful new filing system, and even replied to a few e-mails) maybe Riza would let him head home after his meeting. Patting his pockets for his spare gloves and wallet, Roy headed into the main office.

"I'm heading out everyone," he told them. "Barring any emergencies, I'm—"

"You're coming right back here, sir," Riza interrupted coolly, reaching for her sidearm. "We have reports to go over after your lunch meeting."

"Of course I'm returning immediately, Hawkeye," Roy said smoothly, like she hadn't interrupted him and threatened to shoot the targets she had taped over his door again. "Wouldn't dream of doing anything else."

"Where are you taking Ed this week?" Havoc asked from across the room. "I've got a date tomorrow and I'm not sure where to take her just yet."

"It's not that kind of date," Roy said tiredly. He had this conversation with Havoc every couple of weeks. "It's a recruitment tactic."

"Uh huh," Havoc said. "Sure. You're totally going to be the one who gets Ed to sign up. Let me know how the appetizers are when you get back."

Roy sighed, pointedly ignoring Havoc. It wasn't a date. It was just a weekly recruitment meeting.

***

Roy usually met with Ed for lunch on Wednesdays; originally it was just because that's what fit into their schedules, but now it was more of a mid-week pick-me-up. The only way Ed was going to become a State Alchemist was if hell froze over on the day that an aerodynamic pig was born and the sun started setting in the east. Everyone who's ever talked to Ed knows this; Roy honestly isn't sure why Ed agreed to a meeting that first time, but he's grateful.

Edward Elric and his younger brother Alphonse were infamous in several military circles for how badly the brass wanted them on silver leashes and for how often they trolled the military. On several occasions, one or the other had agreed to meet with a recruiter and then turned it into a platform to criticize the military. Edward Elric was personally responsible for at least one State Alchemist turning in their pocket watch after a meeting and Roy suspected the Elrics had a hand in the upswell of quiet criticism and calls for reform within the military.

Roy's superiors had been pleased when Roy not only managed to successfully meet with Ed _once_ , but then he secured a second meeting. For almost three weeks, Roy's star had shone a little brighter and then, miraculously, hadn't dimmed much when Ed kept dragging their meetings out. The military was still reimbursing Roy's various "recruitment efforts" so he supposed hope sprang eternal. Or someone was very stubborn.

Even if they stopped footing the bill, Roy would keep meeting up with Ed. Roy enjoyed debating journal articles and theory with Ed, and after almost three months, he was deeply invested in the ongoing saga of Al's crush on Fletcher Tringham. He was rooting for them; someday, they'd figure it out.

Roy hoped Ed had good news about his brother; they'd come up with a foolproof plan to get Al and Fletcher to spend time together, surely there must be some sort of positive development. Roy could use the good news since he was going to have to face Riza and her endless paperwork after this. If she was going to literally hold a gun to his head (and this seemed likely: Roy and Riza had very different ideas about what a productive morning looked like) to get through a stack of things that needed Roy's signature, well, Roy was going to need something nice to think about.

Barring that, at least he'd have a nice lunch. Roy had been looking forward to trying today's restaurant for weeks, Illuminare was getting rave reviews. He had some vague thoughts about taking a date, but he wanted to check it out first with Ed. And speaking of, it looked like Ed had beaten him there; Roy caught sight of Ed on the bench by the entrance. Roy smiled, happy to see him and took a moment to study the man. Ed was still wearing his prescription sunglasses, doing something with his phone. He was dressed casually in jeans and a jacket Roy was a little jealous of (Roy was reasonably sure he'd look just as good in it) and it didn't _look_ like he'd been caught in any explosions at the university's alchemy lab, which boded well for their meal.

"I thought you couldn't see well enough to text with your sunglasses," Roy called out, walking towards Ed.

"Can't see well enough without 'em today," Ed replied, still staring at his phone screen. He finished whatever he was doing, then looked up at Roy. "Hey, you made it. You're usually early, I was starting to wonder if you ditched me."

"Trust me,' Roy said dryly. "There are very few things in the office I'd rather do than you. Did you read Cornello's latest travesty of a paper?"

Ed made a choked off, coughing noise and turned red; Roy was concerned he was getting sick. He knew Ed had a draft of his thesis due soon and was pulling more all-nighters and lab time than usual, it was entirely possible he was running himself down. Whatever affected Ed passed; his color looked better and he cleared his throat.

"I got better things to do than waste my time with _that_ ," Ed said. "Besides, I knew I'd hear about it from you. What bullshit idea is he going on about now?"

***

"Okay so wait, let me see if I have this straight," Ed said, leaning his chair back to rest on its back legs. He gripped the edge of the table to steady himself and for a moment, Roy fixated on his hands, the gleam of the metal, how much control Ed had over a limb that could punch through walls. Roy was a little in awe of what Ed could do with his hands, he'd seen Ed draw arrays with delicate chalk and even more delicate vine charcoal: difficult mediums to work with, and he'd do amazing and impossible things with them. So much about Ed was amazing and impossible, it humbled Roy that he choose to spend time with him, that Roy could call him a friend.

"Cornello's idiotic theory is to basically steal Nash Tringham's classified to hell and back work, do something with fucking celestial bullshit alchemy to further beef up the red water and then, somehow, that's going to create the most awesome alchemic amplifier ever and equivalent exchange will be a thing of the past?"

"You forgot that he wants to patent it," Roy said dryly. He took a sip of his water and admired Ed's brilliance again. Ed actually _had_ read Cornello's abstract and between that and Roy's rather poor summary, he'd figured out enough to follow the finer points of Roy's rant. Cornello really was a disgrace to the entire field, he honestly had no idea why any of the respectable alchemy journals ever published him.

"Fucking hell," Ed said irritably. "How did that even _meet_ Modern Alchemy's standards? Though, okay, I guess in theory I could see how an idiot might come up with that. But red water, fucking seriously?"

"Well, I suppose to the average alchemist, it's the proverbial pot of gold, they know it exists and that it does _something_ that lets them bypass some of the exchange. You and I are just special, we know it's fool's gold."

"Not that foolish," Ed said with a snort. "It does fuck with equivalent exchange, but definitely not worth the side effects. And adding more shit to it and patenting it," Ed shook his head and Roy was momentarily distracted by the movement of his ponytail. "Pretty sure it'd just blow up in his face. And if it didn't, Russell and Fletcher would be right there, ready to kick his ass, probably with some lawyers to shut it down."

There was a story there, possibly several stories. Roy hoped Ed would tell them to him someday, how he came to learn about the edges of equivalent exchange, the composition of red water, even how he met the Tringham brothers. Ed clearly lived an interesting life; what fascinated Roy as how little of it was documented in his files. Somehow, Ed managed to do impossible things and keep it off the military's radar. The talent was undeniable and too obvious to be hidden; it was why Roy's superiors were so desperate to recruit either Elric brother to the State Alchemist program. But everything else? Mysteries upon mysteries. Roy hoped he'd be allowed to unravel a few of them.

"How are Russell and Fletcher?" Roy asked, deliberately changing to a less academic topic. He didn't want to be shown up (yet again) by Ed's alchemical knowledge. "More to the point, how are Fletcher and your brother?"

"Seriously considering just locking them in a closet together," Ed grumbled.

Their waitress approached the table with a heavy tray and Roy smiled at her, pleased to see that their meals arrived so promptly. Roy's steak smelled delicious and both of Ed's plates looked enticing; a very good sign for a potential date location. The ambiance, even midday, was nice. Intimate without being obviously "romantic" or claustrophobic, and if the food was as good as it looked, Roy might have just found the perfect spot for his next date.

"Didn't you and Winry try that already?"

"Twice," Ed said around a mouthful of mashed potatoes. "Third time's got to be the charm, right?"

"Isn't one definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result?"

Ed grinned, sharp and full of mischief. "Mustang, I never claimed to be sane. And you gotta stick with the classics sometimes."

"There are classics," Roy said dryly. "And then there are stupid ideas that don't work."

"Never claimed to be a mastermind either," Ed replied. "Isn't that supposed to be your specialty? You come up with an awesome plan then, since our last one didn't work."

"Have you tried setting them up on a blind date with each other yet?"

Ed paused with a fork midway to his mouth, "Huh, that's actually a good idea. Guess you're good for something after all."

"I'm good at many things," Roy said with a smile. "You should definitely keep me around."

"Oh, I _plan_ on it," Ed said with a smirk. There was something a little off about it though, and if Roy didn't know better, he'd say Ed sounded a little coy, almost flirtatious. It was a nice daydream though, to imagine that Ed might flirt with him. Certainly, an ego boost. Ed was about a decade younger than him and one of the most attractive people Roy had ever met; all of that _and_ a brilliant alchemist and engaging conversation partner.

Well, an engaging conversationalist assuming you adjusted to the swearing. And Ed's penchant for completely dismissing complex topics as child's play and his assumption that everyone else was either as brilliant as he was or a complete idiot; there was no middle ground with him. It was flattering that Ed thought Roy was as well-read as Ed himself, or any of Ed's closest friends (all terrifying geniuses in their own way), but it could also be annoying.

"Hey, earth to Roy, stop ignoring me or I'm going to order like four desserts."

"You'd order four regardless," Roy responded automatically. Teasing Ed was one of the many reasons why he enjoyed their weekly lunch meetings.

"Well, I wouldn't share any of them with you then," Ed said, like it was some kind of threat, not being allowed to share Ed's dessert buffet.

"If you don't want to share," Roy said smoothly, "I suppose I'll just have to have you for dessert."

Ed blushed and Roy smirked, riling Ed up was too easy sometimes.

***

Roy made it back to his office in a fairly timely manner. He only drove a little bit out of his way and he'd settled on drive-thru coffee instead of finding a parking spot, browsing through all of the coffee and tea paraphernalia for sale, flirting with the barista, and people-watching for awhile. Roy was the _model_ of productivity and focus today. Riza should be proud of him.

Instead, she was pointedly sitting in the chair outside his office with an ominously large stack of folders on her lap. At least her gun was still safely holstered?

"Good afternoon, team!" Roy said cheerfully. "I hope you've all had as productive a time as I did!"

"How were the appetizers?" Havoc called out.

"How's Ed doing?" Fuery asked. "I haven't talked to him in awhile, he's been so busy!"

"How far did you get with him?" Breda asked with an exaggerated wink.

"Heymans," Falman said stiffly, "that is not an appropriate workplace discussion!"

Roy blinked; Falman had always been a stickler for the rules, and strictly speaking, taking Ed out for lunch was a little outside the usual recruitment scope but it wasn't unheard of. And Roy _had_ been doing this for weeks now; sure, he and Ed were friends and Roy maybe used their lunch meetings as a completely legitimate reason to get a small break from his busy work days and that was maybe an ethically grey area, but Falman had never had a problem with it before. Roy wondered what changed.

"This meeting was as successful as the last one," Roy said. "I might wear him out eventually and get him to sign a contract—"

"Chief," Havoc said, "it's just us. You don't have to pretend you're recruiting him. But please don't tell us about your sex life."

"I think it's sweet how you two got together," Fuery chimed in. "And since Ed's not part of the military, the fraternization rules don't apply!"

"Yeah, I don't get why you keep going on about recruiting your boyfriend," Breda added, spinning his chair around to face Roy and the others more clearly. "Wouldn't that just make your lives way more complicated? Taking him out on the military's dime _is_ pretty clever, wish I'd thought of it first, so I get why you've got the official excuse and all. But it's a little insulting that you keep lying to us about it."

Roy looked at his team, genuinely confused about how they'd come up with this idea. None of them looked like they were joking. They honestly thought he was dating Ed, even Riza. Several things (including Riza's tolerance for his weekly lunch meetings) made more sense but Roy wasn't sure _how_ they had come up with this idea. He'd given no indication that he was attracted to Ed or that they were anything more than friends, right?

"I'm not dating Edward," Roy finally managed. "I admit, I do stretch the definition of recruitment to some extent, but that's just to have a legitimate excuse to leave the office for awhile, any of you would do the same."

"Falman wouldn't," Breda said immediately and Falman nodded. 

"Second Lieutenant Breda is correct, I would never bend the rules like that. I enjoy my job and respect the military's regulations too much to risk the repercussions, but I understand bending the rules for a romantic relationship," Falman said. He smiled at Roy. "I broke a few rules when I was first dating my wife, after all."

Riza cleared her throat, drawing the room's attention to her spot by Roy's office door. "I also wouldn't take advantage of our employers like that," she said dryly. "But I also met my girlfriend through work, and we try to keep our personal and professional lives separate. _And_ I also doubt that Fuery would let the military pay for a standing lunch date with his boyfriend."

Roy scowled at her; Roy had been there when Riza finally figured out that Rebecca was hopelessly in love with her and the _eons_ it took for them to settle into something resembling a functional relationship. And he knew perfectly well that Rebecca encouraged Riza to play hooky and bend rules until they nearly broke. She was a giant hypocrite and _he wasn't dating Ed_ so it really wasn't the same.

"I don't have lunch dates with my boyfriend," Roy tried again. "Because I don't have a boyfriend. And if I was looking for one, it would not be Edward Elric."

"Does Ed know that?" Fuery asked and Roy froze for a moment, making several lightning fast connections. Ed might, possibly, be under the impression that their relationship was less than strictly platonic.

Ed might possibly be completely correct about that.

"Oh, _fuck_ ," Roy said with feeling. "I might have accidentally acquired a boyfriend."

"You think?" Havoc asked. "Why do you think I keep asking you for date night ideas?"

"Gentlemen," Riza interrupted. "As fascinating as this topic is, we have work to do. _If_ we get caught up, we can leave at five and reconvene at a bar to make fun of the Colonel and help him plan out a proper date with Edward."

***

Roy considered his problems as he signed things under Riza's supervision. Problem the first was Ed (then again, Ed was usually one of Roy's problems so this wasn't exactly new territory) and whatever he thought their relationship was. His second, and more immediate problem, was avoiding his staff after work. If Riza let them leave on time, there was no question that he'd get dragged along to Breda's favorite bar and then he'd get to look forward to hours of mockery and increasingly terrible, but well-intentioned plans designed to get Roy and Ed together.

Roy had much better things to do with his time.

Like considering his third problem: his own feelings towards Ed and their lunch meetings. Dates, really. Now that it'd been pointed out, Roy could see how his subordinates (and, quite possibly, Ed) had mistaken Roy's meetings for lunch time dates. And then there were a few late afternoon assignations which mainly consisted of Roy catching up with Ed over coffee— hell, those were coffee dates, Roy could admit that. There were a lot of places they could have met up, had coffee, and discussed alchemy or the benefits of the State Alchemist program. Roy never choose any of them, preferring to meet Ed at the trendy place midway between Roy's office and Ed's apartment that had a decent wine selection and espresso to die for. Or if Ed planned a late afternoon meeting, he tended to pick one of the nicer independent coffee shops near the university's alchemy building.

So: Roy had definitely been on a few dates with Ed. He really needed to figure out how he felt about that. And he needed to talk to Ed about it.

When Riza left his office to get another report for him to review, Roy took the opportunity to text Ed. It was a long shot, they'd seen each other once today and Ed was extremely busy with his semester winding down, but Roy had to try.

_Meet me at Tuckson's?_

Roy gave it a minute or so, if Ed had his phone out he'd have a reply almost instantly. If Ed was working, it could be hours, even days, until he got a reply. Still, the bookstore was a good choice. Roy was a regular and Ed probably loved that bookstore more than he loved Roy— _not that Ed loved him_ and Roy stopped that train of thought right there. Ed _liked_ Tuckson's more than he liked Roy; Ed had discussed the topic extensively before. It as a good spot to meet up and talk, they had comfortable couches. And there were a few decent restaurants nearby in case…

Well.

In case of anything, really.

Roy sighed and rubbed his forehead; denial didn't suit him. God help him, but he _liked_ Edward Elric. And he would very much like to take Ed on a real date, one where they both knew it was a date. But first, he needed to ditch his staff— oh god, Riza wasn't back yet, she was probably talking to _Maes_ right now. There weren't too many other good explanations for her delay. And once Maes knew there was something to mock him about and worse, the possibility of a relationship...

Roy's office was on the second floor, there was a tree outside his window. He could climb down and escape. Maybe clear out his bank account, move to another country and change his name. Yes, that was a good plan. And when a year or three passed, he could e-mail Ed and ask him to dinner. Perfect.

Roy's phone beeped with a text.

_Class ends in half an hour, meet you then?_

Roy smiled stupidly at his phone for a solid minute, then realized he had the perfect excuse to escape. Perhaps it was the last time he'd get to use it, but what a way to retire it. Roy gathered his things and strode confidently into the outer office.

"I'm heading out for the day," Roy announced. "State Alchemist recruitment. It's time sensitive."

He left before Havoc or Breda could comment, but Fuery beamed and gave him a thumbs up as he exited.

***

Roy got held up in late afternoon traffic and then finding a parking spot was an adventure. Roy swore that whatever happened, he was going to make this trip worth it, even if that meant a lonely dinner by himself in one of the nearby restaurants. He'd circled around too long trying to find a place to park. The bookstore was a short walk from where he left the car, so Ed had definitely beaten him to Tuckson's. Roy used the time to try and figure out what he wanted to say to Ed. Opening with a proposal was out; Roy wasn't quite ready to make that kind of commitment, not until he knew they could live together. And he should probably kiss Ed before asking him to move in and _really_ , that was getting a little ahead of things. He wasn't _Maes_.

What Roy needed was for Ed to give him some kind of opening to play off, then slip in a sincere compliment or two and, finally, tell Ed that he enjoyed his company and would love to spend some time together off the clock, and perhaps they could get dinner and see how things went. A nice, simple, unambiguous date.

What Roy got was a magnificent view of Ed's ass he as stood on a step ladder, reaching up for a book and arguing with the pretty bookstore clerk.

"Shut the hell up Sheska, it's not a date, it's never a date, there will be no dates."

"Well, there _should_ be dates," Sheska said, and Roy recognized her as Tuckson's regular afternoon sales associate; she was the one who read _everything_ and usually had spot-on recommendations for customers.

"Are we talking about Alphonse and Fletcher again?" Roy interrupted. Ed startled on his step ladder and Sheska hurried over to steady him.

"What the hell bastard," Ed said from his perch. "Are you trying to kill me?"

"That would be counterproductive to my plans,' Roy said. He looked up at Ed (a novel experience to be sure) and _wondered_. He hoped Ed was amenable to his plans.

"I assume there's a good reason for you to be up there?"

"Getting a book for Sheska," Ed said. He handed her a large paperback with a predominantly red cover, then stepped up to get something else for her.

"I need the Marvels and Miracles trilogy too," she told Ed and he grunted in response. Roy tried hard not to stare too obviously at Ed's ass, but it was practically eye level and his pants were wonderfully tight. How on earth had he missed his attraction towards Ed before this? Ed was _beautiful_ and brilliant, exactly Roy's type. He tried not to look disappointed when Ed finally climbed down the step ladder with Sheska's books.

"So," Roy said once everyone was on the ground and free from books. "Who's never going on dates? Because I really do think setting Al and Fletcher up on a blind date will work."

"Ed never goes on dates," Sheska said. She eyed Roy and smirked, " _Apparently_."

Roy probably wasn't going to get a better opportunity than this, and since he and Ed appeared to be hot topics among Ed's friends, well. Privacy might be a little overrated this one time.

"About that," Roy said with his most charming smile. Sheska flushed, but Ed snorted and rolled his eyes, clearly unmoved. It just made Roy want to try harder and make Ed laugh, oh god, he was so smitten. Roy cleared his throat and tried again.

"It's a grievous flaw with reality that you're spending your evenings alone," Roy started and then realized who, exactly, he was talking to. Ed made fun of Roy nonstop and had ruthlessly crossed out Roy's more grandiose phrasing and allegorical language when he looked over the drafts of Roy's latest alchemy paper. Simple and direct was going to be best here.

Roy met Ed's eyes, gleaming with intelligence and a fair amount of amusement behind his glasses. He was almost smiling and Roy realized that Ed had a pretty good idea about what Roy was trying to do, which was reassuring.

"Sorry," Roy said with a rueful smile. "I finally realized that I'm a little bit in love with you. And I'd like to take you out for dinner."

"About fucking time," Ed said, crossing his arms and _looking_ at Roy. He was smiling though, and he seemed happy.

"Oh my _god_ ," Sheska said, and Roy had nearly forgotten her presence. "You two are ridiculous, just kiss already. And Ed totally says yes, he definitely wants to be your boyfriend. I need to tell _everyone_ you two finally got together."

Roy met Ed's eye and hoped that he agreed with her. Ed rolled his eyes, but walked over to Roy's side and pulled him down into a kiss. Roy met him eagerly, wrapping his arms around Ed's waist and it was only the sound of a shutter clicking that stopped him from groping Ed's ass and seeing how far he could take things in the middle of a bookstore. Ed broke their kiss, resting his forehead against Roy's.

"You owe me about a million kisses, bastard." Ed turned away from Roy to glare at Sheska. He held a hand out for her phone and Sheska just shook her head, clutching it closely.

"Winry wanted proof," Sheska said. She tried to look sternly at them, but failed pathetically. "And this is a _public place_ , you can't make out in the middle of the store, get out of here and go find a room somewhere."

Roy pulled Ed closer and laughed when he flipped Sheska off.

"We have plans anyway," Roy murmured to Ed. "I really do want to take you out for dinner. And then I'd like to have you for dessert."

Ed turned almost as red as he had at lunch, but this time he pointedly checked Roy out and _smirked_.

"Yeah, all right, I could eat," Ed said and his eyes lingered on Roy's belt. Uncharacteristically, Roy blushed.

Ed caught Roy's belt loops and pulled him closer, "You're paying, though."

"I always do," Roy pointed out.

"No, the _military_ always pays. But now you get to pay. I'll get the next one."

The next one— Roy liked that, the assurance that this wasn't a one-off. Ed's friends could say whatever they wanted, but Roy was glad to hear that confirmation from Ed himself. Roy didn't want any more confusion or ambiguity in their relationship. It was going to be _painful_ to have to pay for Ed's lunch at least once a week, he was going to miss being able to pass the cost off. Though, just because Ed was now metaphorically in bed with the military (and soon, Roy hoped, that would also be literally) he hadn't signed any contracts.

"Ed," Roy said seriously as they walked down the sidewalk in search of an appealing restaurant. "Don't ever enlist, I won't be able to keep calling our lunch dates recruitment efforts if you do. And I really enjoy having a legitimate reason to leave the office."

"You're such a fucking slacker, Mustang," Ed said with a sharp elbow to the ribs. Roy wasn't sure if that was supposed to be some kind of chastisement or a show of affection; Ed was complicated. "But sure, I'll be your weekly excuse to fuck off and try new places."

"You're amazing," Roy said adoringly. "I could kiss you— "

"What the hell's stopping you?" Ed challenged and nothing was; Roy leaned down and kissed his boyfriend in the middle of the sidewalk. Ed pulled him in closer and spun them around, all but slamming Roy into the plain brick of a nearby storefront. Ed's arms cushioned Roy's head, but he barely noticed, too intent on licking his way into Ed's mouth. Roy had no idea how much time they spent making out, but the sun was setting by the time they broke apart.

"I had a plan," Roy said, still trying to catch his breath.

"Fuck your plan," Ed said and pointedly shifted his hips. Roy could feel how hard Ed was and it made Roy grin and pull him in for another kiss.

"Seriously," Ed said in his ear. " _Fuck_ your plan and fuck me. We've done the dating and flirting thing, you're just an idiot who didn't notice. Trust me, I'm all romanced and shit, let's just _go find a room_ like we were told and order delivery. You can woo me later."

Well, when Ed put it like that…

"I'm parked a street over," Roy said breathlessly. "Let's go."

"That's what I've been _saying_ ," Ed said, then grabbed Roy's arm. He all but dragged Roy down the street and Roy decided that this was the was their best date yet.


End file.
